Not Your Hero
by Stand In Girl
Summary: Asha and Alec have a talk, and they both realize some things. Builds toward MA. Not an AA story.


**Title**: Not Your Hero

**Summary**: Alec has a talk with Asha, and they both realize some things. We all saw the tiny beginnings of a relationship between Alec and Asha towards the end of Season Two. This me stamping that out.

**Rating**: T

**Pairing**: Builds toward Max/Alec. _Not_ an Alec/Asha story.

**Not Your Hero**

"So, are you going to buy me another drink?"

Alec clenched his jaw, his hands tautening into fists as her voice buzzed in his ears. He forced his muscles to relax, alternately rolling and flexing his shoulders until he felt the tension ease out of him. Then he glanced over his shoulder at the statuesque blonde, shooting her a tight-lipped smirk.

"Why would I go and do a thing like that?" Alec drawled, though his eyes remained cold. He never should have bought her that first drink. It had been a mistake, and now she believed they could be anything more than friendly acquaintances.

Asha's eyebrows titled downward as she frowned delicately. Alec studied her face, noting with some detachment how truly stunning she was. Beautiful enough to blend in easily at Manticore.

"Alec, I get that you don't want to be involved. But can't we at least be friends?" Her voice was low and throaty, the type of tone that usually piqued Alec's interest and floated through him like silk.

He raised an eyebrow in response and ran an appraising gaze over her body. Beautiful, sexy, fit, blonde, everything he usually required in a woman. Her tight, denim jeans enhanced her long, shapely legs, and her simple tank top cut off well before her midriff, allowing him a delicious view of her smooth, silky flesh.

And, shocking as it was, he felt no inclination towards her.

Other than the possible exception of physical attraction – hell, he was _male_ – he didn't want her. And she didn't want him as a friend. He was certain by the way her gaze roamed over his person and by the way she struggled to probe deeper into his emotions that she was looking for something more.

"No." He said finally, turning his back on her and facing the bar. He rapped his empty glass sharply against the counter, and the barkeep obediently filled it with scotch.

"Why not?" That sexy voice of hers became huskier still as confusion clouded her tone.

Alec said nothing, mulling the question over. A portion of it had to do with what he had told her before; transgenics only brought pain, suffering and death to the humans they chose to incorporate into their lives. He didn't need algorithms or heuristics to know that with a 100 percent certainty.

But another part of his decision was that Asha, for all her beauty and brains and bravery, didn't seem to cut it. He found something lacking every time he looked at her. Something missing that would keep him from loving her, even if allowed himself to let go.

It was better to keep her firmly at arm's length than to let her grow attached to him, which would irrevocably lead to her dying or being disappointed and hurt. Hell, she got enough unrequited love from Logan. Alec didn't need to add more insult to injury.

Dear God, he was actually trying to do the right thing.

"I'm not your type, kid," He replied in a deliberately patronizing tone. His gaze slid over to her and he smiled a slow, chilly smile. "Find someone else to bother."

Asha's soft, pale cheeks flushed. "So all of that, 'I want you' stuff is just bullshit?" Asha demanded incredulously, her arms crossing over her chest. A moment of quiet hung heavily between them, and Asha took his silence as a sign of assent. She smiled, and a slightly smug look danced over her face. "See, I don't buy that. You wanted me then, and you still do. That's what got you so worried. But Alec, that's really not what I'm looking for. I just want to be your—,"

"Friend?" Alec snorted derisively. "What good would I be to you as a friend?" It wasn't a self-deprecating comment; he was stating a fact. He had no use to her as a friend, other than the possible exception of resident kickass transgenic. And Max filled that occupation well enough.

Asha shook her head, her blonde curls softly caressing her face. "You're a better guy than you think, Alec."

Ah, they had reached it at last, the source of Asha's interest in him. She thought he was a _good _guy. Of course, he had helped rescue the S1W and other damsels in distress on a few occasions, so he could see the foundation of her misconception. But he had only suffered through playing the hero because if he hadn't participated in those rescue missions, he would have had to face Max. And that was a fate far worse than death.

In fact, Max was the only person that had ever managed to turn Alec into the reluctant hero. Damned if she didn't find a way to rope him into whatever stupid, risky scheme she was planning on any given day.

"You have no idea who I am," He replied easily enough, though his voice sounded strained to his well-trained ears. "I doubt you'd think I was so great if you had any clue."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her with a glare and a wave of his hand. "You think I'm just judging myself too harshly, and that's why I keep rejecting you?" He snorted scornfully. "I'm no martyr, Asha."

She rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance, huffing slightly. "Don't pull this on me, again. I get that you've had to do things you aren't proud of. I understand that you became involved with a girl once and she…" Asha's voice faltered as she noticed Alec's hand clench violently around his glass. Her face hinted at an intense internal struggle, but after a moment she continued hesitantly, "Got hurt. But I've done things I'm not happy with for the S1W. It doesn't make you or me a bad—,"

"You're nothing like me," Alec cut in, his voice no more than a growl from deep in his throat. "I'll tell you again, Asha, you have no idea what I've done."

She threw her hands up in the air, a stubborn, disbelieving look crossing over her features. "_What_, Alec? What have you done? What action could be so horrible that you're forever punishing yourself?"

Alec felt the usually sturdy dam around his emotions begin to crumble as Asha stared heatedly into his eyes. Anger filled him as he returned her gaze. She hadn't grown up and lived her entire life in an institution where murder and assassination were the only goals, and failing those goals meant abject torture in the form of reindoctrination. She had _no_ idea. And yet she stood here, believing she understood the situation implicitly. She had heard only the vaguest of outlines, and she already thought she understood everything better than him.

Adhering more to his desire to open her eyes than to his common sense, he snarled, "That girl you mentioned? She didn't just die. I _killed_ her. And that was one time, one mission. _That's_ what I've done. _That's_ what you can't understand. And _that's_ why you're wasting your time. "

He stood up suddenly and took Asha by surprise, though admittedly the blonde already looked too stunned to move. He stood a mere inch from her, breathing in her fresh, clean scent and thinking inwardly that she didn't deserve to be here with a guy like him.

"Leave me alone, Asha. I'm not your hero. I saved you once, but I wouldn't have done it on my own." He straightened his coat and stared her straight in the eye. Their gazes caught and held for a lengthy amount of time; his challenging and demanding, hers calm but defiant. Some hint of emotion seemed to spread over her face, as if she had come to a conclusion based on what she'd seen in Alec's eyes.

"You mean, you wouldn't have done it without _her_." Asha said finally, her light blue eyes sharp and assessing, never leaving his face. "Without Max."

Alec smirked sardonically again, his way of lessening the truth of her words. "Goodbye, Asha." He stepped around her and prepared to walk away.

"You lied." She said to his back, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Nothing I said tonight was a lie." He replied curtly, turning to look at her. She needed to accept it and move on.

Asha shook her head, her eyes still studying his face intently. "Not tonight. When Logan and Max found the temporary cure. You lied. You said that if you loved someone, you'd tell her."

Alec's eyes widened slightly and his jaw went slack, the only signs of his surprise. But it was enough. Asha's roving blue eyes caught his reaction.

"You love her, Alec. I can see it in the way you look at her. Are you ever going to tell her about it? Or is this another way of making yourself unhappy?"

Alec's heart was pounding furiously, though his face was a mask of perfection. He hadn't even allowed himself to accept his emotions, and to have Asha force them out into the open so frankly was brutal.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." He said, his tone tinged with anger. "And now you're wasting _my_ time."

Asha wasn't deterred. She stepped in front of him to keep him from moving away, and he growled in response. "You should tell Max, Alec. I think that—,"

He grabbed her shoulders, the first time he had touched her since the night they'd almost shared a bed. The contact effectively silenced her. "For someone in the S1W, you sure as hell aren't very bright. Max is barely my friend. We're at each other's throats most of the time." He released her and flattened his tone. "And if by some impossible twist of events it were true, there would be no point in telling her. I'm not her hero, either."

He shook his head as he thought about whom both Asha and Max really hero-worshipped. A certain scruffy-looking, older male with glasses and way too many computers. What they saw in Logan, Alec still didn't know. Perhaps it was because Logan actually _was_ a martyr, or perhaps it was because they were attracted to facial hair.

Alec shook his head to free himself of these thoughts, and then returned his concentration to Asha. "You can't save me. You can't find someone to save me. You can't patch me up and make me work the way you want me to. Just let it go, Asha."

Let _me_ go. The words were left unspoken. Asha heard them anyway.

"Fine." She said shortly, stepping away. Her voice rung with finality and sadness. "But I just want you to know, Alec, that you deserve to be happy. And you're somebody's hero."

With that she turned and walked quickly up the steps, her feet treading lightly on each platform before she swept through the doors and disappeared into the night. Sighing, Alec trumped back to the bar, removed his coat, and ordered another round.

**End**


End file.
